Everything That I Was Afraid of Happening, Happened

by Saintly Rows

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"Dead Weight"

I swear that I once felt your cold, dead hands reach up and pull me under. Condemned to a set of lungs filled with water, words seem so trite under an icy tide.
Please let me go, you are my anchor in the worst of ways.
Please lend me shade, you are my Sun on the longest days.
My dear, dead weight.
How quick we are to forget the ones we love.
How slow we are to let go of those that only bring us harm.

My dear, dead weight, you still hold me under.

"Tetelestai"

Eli, eli lama sabachthani
Am I not good enough for purpose, for love?
Eli, eli lama sabachthani
I am finished.
Lend me your nails, and I will find myself.
Everyone quick, grab your savior nail him up to the cross.
I hate the way you're smiling, no one should be able under the weight of the world.

It is finished.
We are nothing but rust, shadows and dust waiting for the end.

"The Potomac"

I'm spitting vowels out, no words are being formed.
Could this mark an ending, or is this the new norm?
Constant, ever careful to not say what I mean
Because we both know the pain inside what the truth brings.
And I'll hold my tongue until my throat bleeds.
Don't say that I am what you want, tell me I'm what you need.
I'll always remember what you swore you'd forget,
Caught inside the river between reverie and regret.

So line my pockets with rocks and kick my body off the docks.

One day we will lay hand in hand with the tide.
Let your floods rise.
Why can't we leave it at the thought that we both tried?
Let your floods rise.

The waves ring out their crashing refrain,
They know not why they sing.
"I have seen the mermaids singing each to each,
I do not think they will sing to me."

Tell me about the ocean.
Tell me about the sea.
Tell me about the secrets
That you always hid from me.

I'm rowing oars backwards in regret.
My bones, they ache.
I'm pulling up dead souls from their graves.
My bones, they ache.

A moment suspended by the grace in your eyes
Would do more to fix this than silence ever could.
But what would I give to realize this haunting lie,
That this was a bad dream as I wake where you fall asleep.

"Everything That I Was Afraid of Happening, Happened"

I am staring at mirrors just praying that looks could really kill.
They never do.
I am watching your breath form clouds before your lips
Without the cold.
There must be something freezing just beside your lungs.
The same heart that controlled my tongue
Is rushing blood to the finger that shines with the Sun.

Let's talk about belief and what it means to me
Like it even matters what I think, anyway.
The Summer and the sweat dare me to forgive everything.
I can see it in your eyes, hollowed at the sight
Of a nameless fog that brought you your respite.
Was it the warmth inside his touch or simply another crutch that let you breathe?

You are, and have always been, everything I fear, and everything I love. I'll take each burdened star as a sign that we will stay apart.
Make no mistake, you once meant everything.
Although I have seen the worst of you, come closer.
There is nothing left to say,
Your hand already strayed.

When your yell faded to a whisper, did you hear his voice too?
And when you close your eyes, am I the one haunting you?
I swear I still see you, like fog fading from the window
So I breathe harder to bring you back.

credits

released April 11, 2013

Recorded live, March 19th and 22nd by Andre Harrington at The Gasworks

Music and lyrics by Blake Ryan Treviño

Tristan Garwood - Drums
Andy Domski - Bass, Vocals on "The Potomac"
James Goodnight - Guitar
Blake Treviño - Guitar, Vocals

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Saintly Rows Albuquerque, New Mexico

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Track Name: Dead Weight
I swear that I once felt your cold, dead hands reach up and pull me under.
Condemned to a set of lungs filled with water, words seem so trite under an icy tide.
Please let me go, you are my anchor in the worst of ways.
Please lend me shade, you are my Sun on the longest days.
My dear, dead weight.
How quick we are to forget the ones we love.
How slow we are to let go of those that only bring us harm.

My dear, dead weight, you still hold me under.
Track Name: Tetelestai
Eli, eli lama sabachthani
Am I not good enough for purpose, for love?
Eli, eli lama sabachthani
I am finished.
Lend me your nails, and I will find myself.
Everyone quick, grab your savior nail him up to the cross.
I hate the way you're smiling, no one should be able under the weight of the world.

It is finished.
We are nothing but rust, shadows and dust waiting for the end.
Track Name: The Potomac
I'm spitting vowels out, no words are being formed.
Could this mark an ending, or is this the new norm?
Constant, ever careful to not say what I mean
Because we both know the pain inside what the truth brings.
And I'll hold my tongue until my throat bleeds.
Don't say that I am what you want, tell me I'm what you need.
I'll always remember what you swore you'd forget,
Caught inside the river between reverie and regret.

So line my pockets with rocks and kick my body off the docks.

One day we will lay hand in hand with the tide.
Let your floods rise.
Why can't we leave it at the thought that we both tried?
Let your floods rise.

The waves ring out their crashing refrain,
They know not why they sing.
"I have seen the mermaids singing each to each,
I do not think they will sing to me."

Tell me about the ocean.
Tell me about the sea.
Tell me about the secrets
That you always hid from me.

I'm rowing oars backwards in regret.
My bones, they ache.
I'm pulling up dead souls from their graves.
My bones, they ache.

A moment suspended by the grace in your eyes
Would do more to fix this than silence ever could.
But what would I give to realize this haunting lie,
That this was a bad dream as I wake where you fall asleep.
Track Name: Everything That I Was Afraid of Happening, Happened
I am staring at mirrors just praying that looks could really kill.
They never do.
I am watching your breath form clouds before your lips
Without the cold.
There must be something freezing just beside your lungs.
The same heart that controlled my tongue
Is rushing blood to the finger that shines with the Sun.

Let's talk about belief and what it means to me
Like it even matters what I think, anyway.
The Summer and the sweat dare me to forgive everything.
I can see it in your eyes, hollowed at the sight
Of a nameless fog that brought you your respite.
Was it the warmth inside his touch or simply another crutch that let you breathe?

You are, and have always been, everything I fear, and everything I love.
I'll take each burdened star as a sign that we will stay apart.
Make no mistake, you once meant everything.
Although I have seen the worst of you, come closer.
There is nothing left to say,
Your hand already strayed.

When your yell faded to a whisper, did you hear his voice too?
And when you close your eyes, am I the one haunting you?
I swear I still see you, like fog fading from the window
So I breathe harder to bring you back.